My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
