imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
