I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
