Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
