My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
