How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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