Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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