you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
