I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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