Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
