I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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