batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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