bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
