He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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