Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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