We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
