apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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