so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
