Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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