At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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