SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
