I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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