even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
