im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize