I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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