can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
