Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
