just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?