A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
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I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
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When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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