I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
