that's an acceptable place to lick
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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