Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize