The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
