Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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