The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm bleeding and have questions
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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