Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
