My hand turned me down
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
