I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize