I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
