We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
