But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
