There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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