Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
