i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
