Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
