can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
