All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
