Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
