We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
