I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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