I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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