we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
