What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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