YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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