I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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