my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
