I could make wine with my vomit
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize