apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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