a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
