There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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