this beer tastes like vomit already
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize