Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize